Thursday, June 17, 2010

For Our Ears Only

I work in a beautiful brick building on a campus of breathtaking Gothic architecture. Most days, it is a picturesque environment.

Today, though, it’s like a trip to the dentist times 1 bajillion. As workers prepare to upgrade the building’s fa├žade by first drilling away the old mortar directly outside my window, it feels and sounds like they are burrowing into my very skull. My bones are rattling and my teeth are chattering and I would give my Blackberry for a pair of earplugs. I’m SOL today, but, check it out, my officemate just told me there is a handy new accessory that all the girls are using…

Ladies! If your aural canals are too delicate for beastly, man-style hearing protection (in icky, undainty colors like orange and blue, which might clash with your rose-hued nighty), now there is a noise-protection device just for us. These are, and I quote, “Softer, Smaller, Silky Smooth and Contoured.” Isn't that just the thing?

This discovery has done nothing to diminish the head-splitting ruckus outside, but it is, most certainly, the silliest thing I’ve heard all day, and silly keeps you Greene. I think I’ll get by with my un-contoured noise-cancelers, but if you are the type of gal looking for "ultimate comfort" up to 30dB, in hot pink...look no further!

Sleep well, Dreamgirls. 



  1. Doesn't Tampax have a silky smooth line like that already?

  2. Neighbor, they are redoing the floors in the apartamento above ours. i'm with you on the noise pollution. ouch!!!

  3. Ahh yes. My last year in Brooklyn, someone decided it would be a wonderful idea to build a 30 story condo directly outside the window of my 5th floor walk up. When they would hammer the 40 foot ibeams into the ground at 7:30am, the entire apartment would shake with each hit. If ONLY I had known about the Dreamgirl Soft Foam Earplugs!!!

  4. include link and if they get enough traffic from your blog they may send you some:)